Gail Campbell
Latest posts by Gail Campbell (see all)

The Reiner family tragedy has been on my mind consistently. I woke up two nights ago thinking the horrendousness of it all. And yes, I think about Nick, caught up in past or current substance use but certainly mental illness.

We will never know what comes first.

Did he use substances to self-medicate for underlying mental illness, or did the substances cause the psychosis leading to such a horrible outcome.

Folks who have family members who suffer with mental illness and/or substance use disorder (SUD) in the family will understand how well this impacts the whole unit. We have witnessed thus far by reading and watching how Nick impacted his family. It’s out there.

I recognize it so well; the attempts to get Nick into treatment, following the professional’s advice, not following the professional’s advice, kicking him out of the house, the anger, the pleading… It’s safe to say, this family attempted to save their loved one the best they knew how.

As a family member who has suffered tragedy because of SUD, it saddens me to look at pictures of my loved ones as small children and wonder, “how the hell did we get here?” I have wondered what Michelle and Rob would think now with their son in custody facing life imprisonment or the death penalty. Are they thinking, please don’t be so hard on him; please get him the help he needs? I know I would be.

As parents of children who suffer with substance use disorder, getting help for yourself is most important. It is like the oxygen mask metaphor on a plane, put the oxygen mask on yourself first so you can help others.

There is help out there. Advocate for yourself and advocate for your safety.

And please don’t judge. Don’t judge others, don’t judge yourself, and don’t judge your loved one. Your loved one does not want to be that way. It’s a brain disease, not a choice.

 

Gail Campbell, BSN, RN, CFRS, is Be a Part of the Conversation’s Director of Family Support. She is also a Family Recovery Course Instructor, and a leader of the Rosemont and Media Parent Partnership meetings and the Parent Partnership Bereavement group. Gail is the parent of four adult children and one granddaughter. Her youngest son was her qualifier that started her journey into family recovery. She has been active in the Rosemont Parent Partnership group since 2012. She is also in long term recovery since 1985.

“My family has been impacted by substance use since the early 2000’s when my 2nd child was in high school. Having lost that child to substance use, and with another now in recovery, I came to parent support kicking and fighting. I knew by my first meeting: this was the place I needed to be. Parent support has helped me, not only personally, but also professionally in my work in the emergency department, and now in my current Be a Part of the Conversation position. I have continued to attend my home group in Rosemont to share my experience, strength and hope, keep me humbled, and to keep me focused on my journey when my loved ones struggle.”